Thanksgiving Food and X Factor

We all basically eat the same types of foods on Thanksgiving, but sometimes I have to ask why.  We all have types of potatoes, cranberries, stuffing, turkey, corn, green beans.

In fact this is what I had, and I'll bet it is what many people had:

Here is the rundown on who would be in the top three, and who would be singing for their survival if these foods were on X Factor.

Top Three

1. Candied Sweet Potatoes/Corn Pudding

Why would anyone ever call these "candied yams" ... have you seen or tasted an actual yam?  They're like really gross white potatoes. Just no. Eating candied sweet potatoes is ridiculously awesome. It's vegetable.  It's candy. I want to make out with it. And Corn Pudding? See above, insert corn. Incorporate veggies and dessert, yes.  Although I consider corn on the cob to be as delicious as dessert.

2. Mashed Potatoes (not pictured)

Mashed Potatoes make something very unappetizing to me into something fluffy and savory.  I feel like I'm eating herbed clouds in Care-A-Lot. 

3. Canned Cranberry Sauce

If it doesn't shlorp, if it doesn't have can marks, please send it away.  This is a Thanksgiving classic.

Wild Card

1. Stuffing

Stuffing depends. If it's just basically wood chipped trail mix, send that crap home.  But if it has sausage and apples and the prayers of innocent children, stuffing wins. 

Sing for Survival

There are no two acts in this competition that I actually want to send home.

1. Turkey

I'm not sure why turkey is a part of Thanksgiving. It's just meat, like any other meat. It sounds so unpatriotic, I know. However, turkeys were only eaten because they were there and available. If people were really in the spirit of Thankgiving and aiming to eat the most common animal in the U.S., we would be eating deer.  Can you imagine a delicious, perfectly seasoned, venison steak?  It's fantastic. You don't even need gravy. Which is good, because I already voted to send gravy home. 

2. Green Bean Casserole

I don't want to be very critical. It's vegetables covered in soup with crunchy things.  It's an OK side dish.  I personally, hate green beans.  This is actually the only way I can possibly eat green beans without erupting into a heaving, sweating, nausea machine. 

Okay, have to go, Glee is on!