No-Equipment Full Body Strength Training Workout Right At Home!

I haven't done my strength training this week.  Why? Because the Insanity Fitness Test was harder on my body than I thought. I was very sore several days in a row and walking funny. It was those squat jumps and burpees, man. They did me in!

 

Also I have yet to find a gym in my area that doesn't cost around $50 a month to join. I don't know who decided to make all the good gyms in the Annapolis area that expensive, but they are. The gym near my job is about $64 a month. Even the Y is $51 a month. L.A. Fitness is about the same price depending on what deal you take. Just no.

 

That's a ridiculous amount of money considering the gyms in adjacent communities such as Bowie and Glen Burnie will run you about $10-30 a month. I could buy my own treadmill and NordicTrack and still have money left over (but no room for my bed or books). No, no, no!

 

So I was forced to find a weather-proof no-gym no-equipment apartment-friendly workout plan.

 

The Insanity Fit Test is actually an amazing full body workout. However, I think I can only handle it once a week at this point in my training.

 

It's surprisingly easy to put together a strength training workout. You don't have to have a personal trainer or follow some dumb workout with light pink weights in some woman's magazine.  You don't even have to do Crossfit if that's not your thing. The cornerstone fitness moves for any strength-training workout are as follows:

 

• Chin Ups
• Pull Ups
• Push Ups
• Bent-Over Rows
• Crunches
• Deadlifts
• Squats
• Calf Raises

 

There's no law against doing basic bicep curl/tricep dips if that's your thing. I feel like these are more for vanity if you're already doing push ups, chin ups, and pull ups. Ain't nothin' wrong with vanity, you know. I'm sure there are some more you could add to that, but if you're not basically paralyzed after doing 2-4 sets of 12 for each of those moves three days a week, then go swing your kettle ball or lift a damn monster truck and go away.

 

"But Jenny!" you protest "I don't have a monster truck! I also don't have a chin-up bar or dumbbells! All I can do is dangle on the chin up bars and lift bags of sand that fall on my feet and create ouchies! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GOOGLE THESE THINGS MYSELF OR HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF GOOGLING THEM. HALP." Never fear!  Here is the recipe for success I'm going to try tonight!  I'll bet YOU could do these too after consulting your doctor and making sure you're not going to drop dead if you even think about getting off your dupa. (STAY ON THAT DUPA IF YOUR DOCTOR SAYS SO. DOCTOR'S ORDERS!!!)

• Some Form of Crawling - This link shows modified beginner crawling to crazy awesome army crawling that might even surpass the ol' chin up bar.
• Try doing inverted bodyweight rows or pull ups and push ups using a sturdy table or counter top to counterbalance your body weight.
• Push-Ups - start with doing them against a wall, then work your way down to moving your feet out farther and farther from the wall until you find yourself progressing to coffee tables, stairwells, and then eventually the floor.
• Crunches - the classic no-equipment crotch headbutt. Although I don't go all the way up because that's a sit-up.  I do, however, pull my hips off of the floor and curl my pelvis up toward my ribs each time I curl my chest toward my crotch and really squeeze with each movement.
• No-Equipment Alternative to Deadlifts
• Air Squats - the holy grail of fitness.
• Bodyweight calf raises  - Really don't leave out the calf raises. I swear calf raises changed my life.

I now have no excuse to skip my strength-training workouts from now on.  Gym or no gym, maybe some day I'll come to an expensive gym near you and lift it. No, not weights. The whole dang gym.

 

Click here for a link to that tasty, tasty sandwich created by Thug Kitchen! 

Get a new plan, Stan!

Hi Blog!

 

I've had a very emotional week this week, starting with some terrible news in my family and the continuing political mess involving the shutdown, then some drama at work involving my misophonia/hyperacusis, then last night's very sad episode of Glee.  I have a crying hangover.

 

My week off has been glorious otherwise! I had pizza, bean burritos, ice cream, chocolate, soda.  I ate on plan for some meals, but for the most part it's been junk food city.  However, I haven't eaten the point of being sick. When I had pizza, I'd choose the smallest pieces in the box and really savor it.  Before game I had no problem wolfing down a half of a box of pizza, but I have now lost that talent.  Now even one slice of pizza feels like I'm ingesting a mouthful of salt. Still, it was really nice to lay off the broccoli for a little bit!

 

I didn't exercise at all this week because of finals, weather, and some pretty gnarly chapped lips.  Thus, instead of 209.7 lbs I'm 212.3 lbs. WHATEVAH, WHATEVAH.   It will all average out when I go back on game!

 

Yes, I'm doing the contest again!  Although, instead of doing a weight loss challenge where I lose 1% of my weight per week, I'm doing a fitness challenge.

 

Fuck scales, bitch.  I want to lift a truck.

 

Challenge: work out an hour a day.  Do the Insanity Fitness Test.  Write down my scores.  Repeat the Insanity Fitness Test every week and improve each exercise by 2 to win the bonus.

 

Proposed weekly fitness plan:

 

DAY 1

45 minute cardio

15 minute rows/crunches/pushups

 

DAY 2

45 minute cardio

15 minute deadlifts/air squats (eventually add weight when I get the form correct)/lunges

 

DAY 3

90 minute cardio

 

DAY 4

45 minute cardio

15 minute rows/crunches/pushups

 

DAY 5

45 minute cardio

15 minute deadlifts/air squats/lunges

 

DAY 6

60+ minute form of recreation (Zumba or Hiking or vigorous house cleaning)

 

DAY 7

LOAF AROUND THE HOUSE LIKE A QUEEN

 

I'M GOING TO BE SO SORE!!!! But you know what makes me happy? GETTING OFF MY BUTT.  And halfway through the game, I lost my motivation.  My workouts had very little structure.  I crave structure.  I thrive on structure. 

 

This is going to be so difficult, but I'm going to be so proud of myself for doing something so good for my body!

 

Baby Steps To A Healthy Relationship With Food

TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder stuff.

 

Here is the honest truth about what I did in the last month.

 

It was really hard.

 

The Game On Diet probably isn't hard for people who don't have health problems. If you don't have heart problems you can put low fat shredded cheese on everything and call it a day.

 

However, I have Stage 3 Hypertension.  I have to keep my sodium count under 1500mg.  I wasn't at first because it seemed like too much change at once, but then my weight loss stalled and I was forced to look at the cause.

 

When I lowered my sodium second week, my diet became very boring.  Plain broccoli. Plain sweet potato. No grains.  Low sodium everything. My days off consisted of ice cream, vegetarian dishes, and the occasional salty snack. I haven't had pizza in weeks and I used to be a daily pizza eater.

 

Soon I learned to love my salady meals, even when my coworker said it looked like horse feed.  Fruit salad and ricotta cheese with nuts. Strawberries and spinach with flaked chicken breast and olive oil. Eggs over medium so I could dip broccoli in egg yolk instead of toast with sliced banana.

 

When I first started the program, I was exercising 25 minutes a day with a short Zumba program on my iPad. Then I started adding slow walks a few times a day. Those slow walks became fast walks, and I eventually added intervals to those. Then I started taking daily 90 minute fun walks to artists like Don Henley, Whitney Houston, and Michael Jackson to keep pace.

 

There was one point during the diet where I was quite bitchy and desperately in need of the chocolate Hershey miniatures my husband was currently devouring a few feet away from me and I had to banish him from the room.

 

That's when it got really hard.

 

I ate alone a lot. I didn't want to be around other people's food.  I didn't want to be seen desperately stress-eating broccoli because I was upset about a math problem or some petty argument.  I felt embarrassed that I had to eat five times a day, because you can't really hide that and I didn't want anyone to see me eating.

 

And therein lies the problem. I'm so, so easily triggered into old unhealthy behaviors.  I remember how I used to skip lunch and dinner then go home and eat in secret in my room. My mom would find gross molded hidden food in my bedroom all the time. I had nutritionists and doctors worried about me, trying to convince me to eat.  They even told me that I would get fat if I continued to starve and then binge, and I didn't listen.  I would hang out with people as long as they weren't eating, because the appearance and sound of chewing freaked me out.  It is something I've never been able to fully heal from.

 

I started to try my best to eat at least one meal with Greg a day, even if it was just five minutes.  Just so I could see his smile.  Just to have a nice experience.

 

I decided there had to be a way to distract myself from all the ways my stupid brain wanted to torture me.

 

So I focused on my teammate.  I checked in with her and formed a bond.

 

I reached out to my friends.

 

I picked on the other teams, sending them razzing messages, teasing them with photos of giant cupcakes.

 

I cuddled with my cat and my loving husband.

 

Sometimes I just sat on the couch and cried for a while.

 

And of course there was always the comfort of walking or running.  I can't explain the feeling of just being in nature, looking up at the trees and the stars with every step, dancing my feet along the pavement with every breath.

 

I'm getting a lot of compliments on the physical change just ten pounds on my tiny frame made. I really am proud of that as a representation of what I'm trying to do.  It bothered me that I had excess weight, but what bothered me more was that I wasn't taking care of myself. I was seriously at a breaking point last month and I was truly hurting. Things are more manageable now.  I traded in pain from water retention and inactivity for what I thought was going to be excruciating pain from working out. But it wasn't. My body feels strong now.  And as I keep doing this my body will be stronger and I will work very hard to create a healthy relationship between myself and food.