When I decided last month I wanted to lose 50 lbs, I was just coming off my umpteenth bout of food poisoning in the last year. My whole body was sore from illness but also from not moving around. I also had really bad depression that had lasted for weeks. But I wasn't ready to do anything yet. I wasn't ready for change, because what if the change was for the worst instead of the better? I was afraid of any more challenges. I was afraid to be too hungry, afraid of the pain of working out, afraid of wasting my time and becoming frustrated. I was afraid of becoming obsessed with it and possibly becoming more miserable.
I'm doing all the things I stubbornly said I wouldn't do, such as track what I eat, weigh myself, and eating reduced fat cheese. And you know what? I'm not hating life as much as I thought I would. Sure it's a lot to think about, but it's an adjustment and I have to be patient.
But there are things that are happening that outweigh all that. I've learned that I like the taste of broccoli by itself. I learned that when I'm running, looking up to the sky to see the leaves dancing in the breeze brings my heart joy. I'm getting a lot more sleep. The pain I thought I'd have from working out is not as painful as being inactive was. And even if I'm a little bit hungry, I go to bed looking forward to each day because I get to eat again! I took eating for granted before and actually dreaded eating. Now I count down the minutes until my next meal. Does that sound bad?
However there are many things I'm looking forward to even more than eating, or losing weight, or anything having to do with dieting. I'm very focused right now, but there are other wonderful or important things in life.
Like kitties.
And husbands.
And friends. And being there no matter what.
No comments:
Post a Comment