Signs Of The Apocalypse

I came to work today and saw this:

And then I looked on our community table and saw this:

The end times are nigh! 

Clearly we only have a week left to live.  I mean, there are just signs everywhere that we're all going to die. I hope you all prepared for the apocalypse, because you totally want to be the last ones standing when everyone else dies.

Have you met anyone that actually has been taking the whole Mayan Zombie end of the world stuff seriously?  Or the economic Fiscal Cliff seriously? Or the next disaster warning seriously?

As someone with severe anxiety disorder, when I find people talking about zombies, depressions, recessions, hurricanes, and earthquakes so seriously that that they get in online arguments, you'd think that I'd be scared right along with everyone else.

No, that's actually when I start side-eyeing.  Because there are several things I really don't care about:

Death by Zombies

Lots of people feel like they have some sort of control on when they die, how they die, and all the emotions related to dying. So the idea of being de-brained by a zombie is very upsetting to these people, and they prepare by having extra ammo or whatever.

I am not frightened by zombies.  I think zombies are more scared of us than we are scared of them if they even exist. But we're far more likely to die of chronic illness or by accident than by zombie. And if I die by zombie, at least that's not boring.

Money

Okay, money is scary, guys.  I've never been poor and have no idea what I would do if I had no money. And we all do the best we can, but some people are just in a better position to save money than others.  So when people go around victim-blaming saying, "You should have been saving since you were five years old!" and "OH NO EVERYBODY IS ON FOOD STAMPS OH THE HUMANITY!" I side-eye. 

It's one things to give people tips on how to do things better, but it's another to have this fatalistic attitude every day like, "I'm warning you! You're going to be out on the street!" 

You think we don't know about our economic situation? I think the majority of people know how bad off they are and how bad off our country is and that it's just going to get worse. There is only so much you can control and people can only do the best they can do.

SNOW/HURRICANE/TORNADO/MONSOON/TYPHOON/THE SLUDGE MONSTER

We all know what kinds of things to do to prepare for a storm that leaves you without power.  But there's not much you can do when your house and car are floating away and you're drowning or dying or something.  I think the best thing to do is just prepare to entertain yourself to distract from the monster wave that is about to kill you that you forgot to evacuate for.  I recommend youtube videos. 

So we can only prepare for these things so much before it gets into, "I cannot control this" territory. You can't just live your life in fear all the time.

So the real question is, after you're "prepared", what would you do if you actually only had a week to live?

Honestly?  I would do nothing differently. This is my life. I can't control or foresee everything.  I could die from a hit and run in the next seco-- 

(Cheap joke)