I'm Going To Learn To Cook Like An Adult

My name is Jennifer and I work 40 hours a week.

Lately when I wake up in the morning I have just enough time to throw on clothes and leave.  I go to the store at lunch and battle Maryland drivers and crowded parking lot to get an overpriced chicken salad sandwich on a croissant.

I come home and all I want to do is sleep.  I heat up leftover pizza from several days ago and eventually fall asleep.

I really have no excuse to be so tired other than habitually doing things that drain me of energy, like forgetting to exercise and eating processed convenience food.

I was doing amazing a couple of years ago. I was happy for a while living on roasted chicken for most meals.  I'd wake up and do a heavy dance routine and finish with some yoga. I walked on my fifteen minute breaks, and sometimes walked during my lunch break.  Sometimes I'd go to the gym after work and other times I would work out at home.

I accomplished so much that I lost fifty pounds very quickly.  I figured, "If I can lose weight, I can treat my anxiety and ADHD as well!"

I went on the meds required and stayed on them for six months.  At the end of that six months I had daily nosebleeds, fainting, and migraines. And my ADHD and anxiety still caused some problems. Plus the doctor's offices made me even more stressed out than I was untreated with long waiting times and doctors who cared about my side effects not at all and had no idea what to prescribe me.

So I stopped. I plummeted into an immediate depression like I knew I would.

I started eating to medicate my depression.  I ate until I was very ill for almost every meal.  This is something I'm still struggling with.

In addition, I got into a car accident and injured my back.  The doctors pinpointed two spots where I was injured. Since I had been feeling severe pain before the accident, I think the accident just made things worse. I was allowed to exercise, but I wasn't able to without severe pain for a long time.

And that's how I gained back all of my weight.

A few months ago my favorite tweeter @REMOVEYOURPANTS began expressing her discontent and worries about people who live on fast food and packaged goods.  And despite all of my education on the subject matter, I couldn't believe that I had become one of those people.

It's always been kind of struggle.  I've tried to learn to cook from scratch over the years, but I've messed up so many recipes that I kind of just gave up. There are two major things that make cooking hard for me:

1. I mess up the recipes.

2. I mess up my cookware and can't get it totally clean after the first use.  Blech.

Even though I do it badly, I like to cook.  I do!

So I thought that despite my lack of talent at it, I'd give it a whirl again.

My only New Year's resolution is to cook.  As of right now my poor husband lives on Healthy Choices and Smart Ones, Atkins bars, and fruit cups. EW.  Oh and pizza and macaroni salad.

Armed with recipes from friends and cookbooks I have laying around in my Kindle and on the web, I resolve that the end of the year that packaged items will be reserved for power outages, and that on most days both Greg and I will be having leftovers for lunch.

I want to also say my other New Year's resolution will be to exercise, but fuck it.  One change at a time right now.  I don't need to make a list.

If I can get the cooking done, here are some other things I would like to get around to but they're completely optional:

2. Go on walks after dinner.

3. Have a place for all of my things. (Goodwill is a place!)

4. Re-apply to UMUC and register for classes.

5. Get my guitar restrung and cleaned and relearn how to play it decently.

6. Take some dance classes with friends.

7. Hang out with my amazing friends.

8. Plan a wedding for sometime in 2014.

9. Do nice things for the people in my life.

10. Shampoo my carpet.

I'll shall start with cooking!  Woo!

I have been alcohol-free for 177 days.  I'll never be food-free but I'd like to invite other things into my life besides processed junk food.  Who knows what I might accomplish without the hours of eating and being sick from eating that take up much of my time.

Even though my only fab thing is my plans, I'm linking up with Laura because that's enough fab for five Fridays!

Deal with it.