One morning at age 23 I woke up with my throat on fire and a fever of 104
degrees Fahrenheit. I had not visited the doctor in the last year and the last
time was because I came down with bronchial pneumonia and almost died.
Feeling pressured to call the doctor but unable to speak, I had my mother
make an appointment for me. Not enough energy to climb on the bed with the paper
sheet, they took my blood pressure while I sat in a chair and I learned I had
Stage II Hypertension.
It was pretty much the end of the world.
I was ordered to go on bed rest for a week where I was not allowed to
return to work or school while they put me on strong blood pressure medication
that did nothing and made me feel like I was going to faint. Tried another pill
that had a side-effect that actually caused asthma. Tried yet another
pill that had no effect whatsoever. Finally tried another pill that brought it
so low they just took me off pills.
In 2012 after a trip to the emergency room for a migraine ended with a
spinal tap and a vicodin-induced panic attack, I decided to lose the pills. All
pills. Except Advil, I'm off anti-depressants, ADHD meds, blood pressure meds
and I'm saying eff the doctor.
Then a whole bunch of life happened involving moving, being betrayed by my
best friend, some wild storms and power outages, two bouts of food poisoning,
getting married, dropping out of school ...
By Christmas my blood pressure was higher than it had been in my early
twenties.
I fuh-reaked out. I didn't want to go to the doctor and be put on more
shitty medication that did nothing but make me dizzy. I tried going on a strict
diet to bring it down rapidly, but I was already using food to medicate my
various problems. I ended up feeling like a failure when I was unable to keep
eating right and going back to my pizza-eating ways, until I got a severe attack
of acid reflux and had to quit pizza sauce on my pizza.
All was not lost. Healthier choices snuck up on me. I didn't even plan this
moderation.
First I began walking once every few weeks. Then I walked once a week. My
once a week walks turned into daily walks and sometimes those walks transformed
into sprints. Now I feel antsy if I don't get outside at least once a
day.
I still ate pizza. But I began adding components of better choices. I began
having fruit for breakfast for a week. Then every few days I'd add a pound of
mushrooms as a night-time snack. Every once in a while instead of pizza we'd
have homemade chicken quesadillas with avocado. Then I started snacking on
grapes a lot and eating the mushrooms more frequently, mushrooms by themselves
instead of on a pizza without sauce. Then I decided I'd add some eggs every
morning with my fruit, and maybe an english muffin. I began eating more and
more fruit throughout the day and sometimes vegetables.
This week I started bring home fresh salads from the salad bar at the
grocery store. I'm at the point now that my fruits and vegetables are all I
have room for, leaving room for one portion of comfort food a day. Sometimes
that comfort food is a small bowl of cereal. Other days it's an oatmeal cookie.
Friday it will be pizza. Maybe with sauce, after doing Relay for Life. Or
maybe not. Maybe I won't have room for it.
My diet has turned surprisingly vegetarian, even though I'm not a
vegetarian. Or am I? I mean, would I like to feel morally superior for trying my
best not to eat factory farmed cows or whatever? Maybe. I'm human, so having
an additional source of validation is always good for my ego. However, I am not
perfect. My eggs aren't cage free. My milk isn't from the farmer's market. And
I'm not going to harp on how other people eat. My husband thinks Skinny Cow is
healthy even though it has about 4 kajillion different ingredients, but I still
enjoy eating that shit. I also could eat potato chips and cheetos any day. I
might try some great vegan-friendly recipes now and then.
I'm not a health guru. I just don't trust doctors and I'm getting better
each day at not dying. That's all.
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