Fab Friday, Non Sequiturs, and Not Dying Of Diseases

I'm linking up with Laura because I love her because she's special and makes me happy okay.

I didn't even link up last week so let me catch you readers coming from her blog up with what's been going on with me:

THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINGS THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE HAAAAAAAAAAPPENED ED ED ED ED:

• I had a stomach bug which is mostly better so I will spare you all from shart jokes, okay.

• I treated my mom to all you can eat crab legs, steamed crabs, and Chinese food all for $15.00.

• I started MyFitnessPal and so far my scale has been going back and forth between 221 lbs and 224 lbs as usual, but at least I know what in the world I'm eating because sometimes I don't pay attention.  I can't exactly complain I am the weight I am when I'm eating more than 2000 calories a day most days and almost none of it is vegetables or fruit.

• I had a two hour workout sesh that felt amazing and I 'd like to do that more often okay.

• I got an eye infection midway through the week that is now almost better.  It's like it got better overnight last night because I woke up with no pain

• I learned a really great sandwich from @REMOVEYOURPANTS who is back on twitter that is vegetarian and super easy to make. She is an encyclopedia of delicious sandwiches and casseroles made from scratch. The last time I linked her though she went on hiatus and having her back is amazing!

• My cat has become less criminal and more snuggly.  She now wakes me up by snuggling with me instead of biting me which I consider progress.  I think it's because she knows I have access to shredded cheese and can get her some if she's good.

• My car insurance rate lowered by $15 a month which is awesome.

• Also, I got a retroactive raise at work, which is even more awesome.

• Even more awesome is that my one coworker is back from being out sick for a month and the new girl is so trained that I think she's better at our job than I am. These are all amazing things!

AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS AAAAAAAANS AAAAANS ANS:

I'm going to add some things to my daily eats that are full of vitamins.  So far I need to get oranges (Vitamin C), avocados (Vitamin K), organic red bell peppers (Vitamins A and C), organic lettuce/spinach (Vitamin A and K), shelled sunflower seeds (Vitamin E), cucumbers (Vitamin K).  And I will probably eat it all in a salad every night.  Or maybe I'll have a salad breakfast.  Or make it into a shake. Or a salad wrap with dressing.

  Oh god.

OH GOD I THINK I JUST EXPLODED FROM EXCITEMENT.  Whatever I eat after that salad wrap every morning is just gravy and will probably involve sandwiches that @REMOVEYOURPANTS tweets (my wrap not one of them because my wrap is probably not delicious). Or popcorn chicken.

I just had this amazing vision of me running on the beach all healthy and muscular while double fisting baskets of my vegetarian breakfast wraps and tossing them to people like, "You get a wrap and you get a wrap and you get a wrap!" but they're like FFFFUUUUUUU because they're laying on their bellies like beached whales trying to get sun poisoning like normal people.

I'll need a bike for that with baskets so I can ride away fast to avoid their beer bottles.

I'll bet that wrap will cure all the cancers.

Wait, can you drink beer on the beach?  I'm assuming you can if you can buy it at the damn gas station downy oshun hon.

I love that effing joke about Baltimore accents so much. <3

What is wrong with me???? What am I doing?  What is going on?